Superhero

I met a superhero,

I lost her,

I want her back.

She did things to me,

That no one else could have.

I miss that.

The past months play on repeat like a movie in my head. Looking back at all those wonderful moments I spent with her- laughing together, understanding each other, sharing our secrets and most importantly loving each other.

How am I supposed to ever be able to let her go? She exists in every fibre of my body. In my hair which she loved running her hair through. In my eyes that held her loving gaze. In my mouth that kissed her several times but still longs for more. And my body that held hers moulded into each other. I had no idea where I ended and where she began. She is as much a part of me as I am. But she’s gone now and my body feels foreign.

They say if you love her, let her go.

And they say if it’s meant to be, you’ll know.

I did know. I had known it from the moment I laid my eyes on her, it’s like my centre just shifted. It wasn’t gravity holding me onto this planet anymore, it was her. In that moment, my worries, fears and insecurities seemed minuscule, unimportant. I knew I would anything for this girl. Anything to see her happy, make her smile, hear her laugh.

And I got all of it. I got to see her happy, smiling, laughing and even more importantly I got to be the reason for it. I felt like I was the luckiest person on this planet. I had won the fucking lottery.

Just being around her made me happy. With her there were no sad moments. She quietened and weakened my demons bringing out the best in me.She was my superhero, my saviour and I thought nothing could ruin this. I was so wrong about it.

Cause then I went ahead and screwed it up. I became the reason for the sadness in eyes, her tears and her broken heart and now I feel like I’ve been ripped apart. Can’t do a thing about it now. She is my salvation and my damnation.

So here I stand, in the midst of so many people, utterly alone unable to let her go despite loving her.

I met a superhero.

I lost her.

I can’t have her back.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kb_e5UkI7ak